With Nenix’s 2nd Angelversary fast approaching, I am unraveling. The fatigue in my bones from missing her underlies every interaction I have with people. It’s as if the shock of losing her has worn off and I’m left gripping the reality that I’m told I must let go. My heart is exhausted from gripping it so tightly but how do I let this go? How do I reconcile this in my life? On the one hand, I am 2 years closer to being with her again but on the other hand it’s been 2 years since I’ve mothered my daughter. 2 years!!
Over the next 2 weeks I’m going to post pictures and share little memories about this sassy little girl named Phoenix. I won’t be offended in the slightest if you decide to unfollow me because it’s hard to watch someone in pain. But if you decide to stick around and hear more about this girl, I welcome your questions and grateful for your support because I will never tire of talking about her. It means a lot to me to know that you are here in the silence with me.
This picture was taken the day of her first haircut. We cut her bangs from the time she turned 1 but never the length. Her hair was down the length of her back by this point and we only had to cut it because she lost so much of it during treatment. I’m pretty sure I was more upset than she was about it. Look at her face! She even made us howl that night with a silly laugh she did.
What a true blessing you have been in my life Phoenix. I will try to accept it was meant to be that we were to hold eachother in this lifetime but for a short while. I will always, always keep you in my heart. Where ever I am, you are.
#ImissyousomuchNenix #OGbabydanger #babydanger #teamdanger
#OGteamdanger #mimimissesyou #missingnenix #lovefornenix #loveforphoenix #PhoenixRyland #inspiration #hero #gonetoosoon #kidsgetcancertoo #effcancer #fucancer #fuckcancer