Though outwardly a gloomy shroud,
The inner half of every cloud
Is bright and shining:
I therefore turn my clouds about
And always wear them inside out
To show the lining.
~Ellen Thorneycroft Fowler
During our 9 month stay in the hospital, #babydanger was hooked up to her IV pole most of the time. During healthier periods, we were allowed to unhook her and we would celebrate and say, “You’re free! You’re free!” I felt bad for the nurses sometimes because during not-so-healthy periods they had to look into her beautiful eyes and tell her no when she asked, “Can I be free?”
She loved to leave the hospital room. She loved to play and run and dance.
Nowadays when I look up at the sky, especially when the clouds are fluffy, I imagine her flying through them. The bigger the sky I see, the bigger her playground. I hear her voice in my head telling me, “I’m free Mimi! I’m free!” This gives me some comfort; like a silver lining in the clouds of my stormy existence.
Yes my darling, you’re free. Free from the cruelty of that terrible disease. Free from the limitations of your physical body. Free from all the pain you so heroically endured for such a young, sweet girl.
Fly free my beautiful Firebird. I long for the day when we are free together…
#fuckcancer #loveforphoenix #lovefornenix #missingnenix #missingphoenix #imissmyfirebird #motherwithoutherbaby